June 22, 2004
Human Virus Scanner
Human Virus Scanner
The virus that have infected you will be show here along with their cures, if known.
Viruses you suffer from:
- Linux
- Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.
- Junkfood
- Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.
- Free BSD
- The GPL isn't that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo.
- Industrial
- Everyone likes folk. No, really. Maybe you should listen to the Incredible String Band.
- BBCB
- CTRL-Break, and get a real computer. Repeat: "Mode 7 was not a good thing."
- 8-Bit
- Polygons, all the polygons you can get are not enough.
- UNIX
- Anything this old must be obselete. Go and install a nice modern operating system. I hear MSDOS has come a long way lately.
- Windows
- Try MacOS X. It's based on UNIX, it has a smoother UI than Windows and it doesn't suck.
As an extra feature the boxes look nice. - vi
- Escape Meta Alt Control Shift.
- Politics
- Stop caring!
- Conspiracy Theory
- Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that's quite scary.
- Environmentalism
- Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.
Viruses you might suffer from:
- Goth (90%)
- Grow up. Let your roots grow out. Listen to Britney.
- British (80%)
- No need for cure. Benign virus.
- Southampton (70%)
- Move to the Isle of Wight.
- Discordia (90%)
- Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday.
- Brand Names (95%)
- Having a well-known name doesn't make it good.
- X11 (60%)
- I hear Mac OS 10 Aqua is nice at this time of year.
- Macintosh (80%)
- Use a mouse with more than one button.
I have absolutely no idea how British and Southampton got there, and of course it's "FreeBSD", not "Free BSD", but the rest is pretty much spot-on. Go check yourself out. Via Ray.
Posted by roam at June 22, 2004 12:49 PM
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