OpenFest 2006 - Share the Freedom

June 08, 2005

Knowin' what to throw away and knowin' what to keep...

Now every gambler knows that the secret to survivin’
Is knowin’ what to throw away and knowin' what to keep.
'cause every hand’s a winner and every hand’s a loser,
And the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep.

When I woke up today, Kenny Rogers was singing "The Gambler" in my head, over and over again. No idea why - the last time I played that song must have been, oh, about 2002 or so, although me and that song, we've had a long, deep, meaningful relationship, that's for sure! It goes back to the time when, about 20 years ago, I dug into my father's vinyls that lived in my room simply because the gramophone was in my room; then there was a tape or two of Kenny Rogers found in various music stores; then there was the TV series that aired on Bulgarian TV around 1990; then a CD or two; then a pause of a couple of years, and today it comes back in full swing.

Well, okay, so maybe there is a reason for me to think of that song; maybe it's because this is pretty much the way I feel about the last couple of months of my life. Nope, this isn't about me feeling like jumping on a train to the Wild West and trying to establish, once and for all, whether a Smith & Wesson *always* beats four aces! It's more about the flurry of people, things, events, incidents, accidents, wrongdoings, rightdoings, plain ol' crazy doings - everything that seems to have rushed into my life once I opened the floodgates and let it all in. Old people coming to know me in new ways, new people coming to know me in old ways, many people (including myself) coming to know me in crazy ways... And of course, the other way 'round - finding new sides to people I thought I'd always known, getting to know people old and new, making friends, making enemies, making people sad, making people happy, making things up as I go, making mistakes, generally making whoopee - kinda making it sound like the Wild West after all, isn't it? :)

And just like the song goes, there are some things and people I've come across that I'd rather throw away; there are many more things, people, and lessons that I'd rather keep; but there are very, very few things that I actually regret doing. Again, I'm reminded of Richard Bach - his words about the world around us, the people around us being neither good nor bad, but just *being*, and the metaphor of every person's life as a movie with a single director, a single spectator, a single leading actor, a single playwright who chooses what kind of movie it will be - and for my life, it seems I'd choose a kind of fast-paced, illogical, unpredictable comedy of errors that could be so much fun at times it actually blows up and drags half a dozen innocent bystanders into the next crazy scheme - and that's the way I like it!

Oh, and, um, speaking of crazy schemes, here goes another one - say hi to my little new place for ranting, in Bulgarian this time.

Posted by roam at June 8, 2005 03:42 PM